‘We Have Always Been Running’: Why a Young Karen Woman Chose to Become a Soldier
Naw Mu Gay, 22, wanted to join the
Karen army since a young age. Coming from a large family, Naw Mu Gay’s
father found it hard to provide for everyone, having to work on a farm
in order to exchange betel nut leaves for rice that was barely enough to
feed his family. Attending a school far away from her village, Naw Mu
Gay and her siblings had to live with their grandmother in Taungoo,
seeing their parents only once a year during the school break. To help
the family once her father fell ill, Naw Mu Gay had to drop out of
school to work on a farm in the village. She and her family lived in
constant fear of the Burma Army, often having to run to the jungle where
the family would live in a broken tent, cooking only at night time when
the smoke would not lead Burmese soldiers to their hideout. Naw Mu Gay
grew up seeing her parents suffer amidst the conflict, and continuously
having to run for their lives. This year, finally given the opportunity,
Naw Mu Gay decided to join the KNDO (Karen National Defense
Organisation), and says that she will rely on her fellow comrades to get
through the difficult times that lay ahead.
We did not have enough food
Since we were young, we had many
siblings, we did not have enough food. So, our father picked betel nut
leaves, and went to exchange them for rice in another village. In the
other village, they didn’t have betel nut leaves, and as they liked
betel nut they had to exchange it for rice. It was enough for one week.
Naw Mu Gay’s family is now separated
between attending school and working on a farm. Her father has fallen
ill which meant Naw Mu Gay and her brother had to drop out of school in
order to provide for the family.
I attended school until the eighth
grade. I then had to leave school because my father was sick. I had to
go to school in another village, because we didn’t have a school in our
village. It was very far. We had to go and stay at our grandmother’s
house. We traveled for one day, we stayed there for the whole year and
when the school closed I came and stayed with my father on the hill.
When we were schooling, our father was
still healthy. So, he still lived in the hill, he didn’t live in
Taungoo. There was only my grandmother in Taungoo. [The farm] it is not
in Taungoo, but close to Taungoo. As [our] grandmother lives there,
[our] father sent us there. My father was healthy at that time, so he
worked in the hill.
I had to be afraid of everyone
For eight years I attended school. I
then had to leave because my father was sick, [so] he moved to Taungoo,
and I moved to the hill. I left [school] together with my brother. I
helped him growing ‘Phalar’ [and] cutting betel nut. My brother [then]
worked as a soldier, so there was only me. As a girl, I did not dare to
live alone, so my father came and stayed with me, even though he was
unhealthy.
There was no clinic [in the village]. If
the condition was worrying, we had to go to Baw Ga Li town. There was
only a motorbike way. [But] motorbike cannot go in the rainy season. In
the rainy season, we had to carry the patient. There was I big stream.
We had to cross the river to go to the clinic. It takes about one day to
go the clinic there. […] People who couldn’t afford they couldn’t send,
and they just ended their lives there in the village.
My mother, she stayed in Taungoo with my
brother and a younger brother. The situation was very bad in the hill
[farm] with the Burmese soldiers. The people who lived in the hill moved
to Taungoo. [My] mother went and lived with the children [in Taungoo],
my father, he came and stayed with me. […] I did not dare to live alone.
I had to be afraid. I had to be afraid of everyone.
Burmese soldiers came and shot at us
In 1993 when Naw Mu Gay’s village
was burnt by the Burmese military, much of the population had to move to
Taungoo, the closest town one day walk away. Since then, the village
has been rebuilt, and people have moved back to work at their farms,
although ever since the attack from the Burmese military, the people
have had to live in fear.
In 1993 when I was born, the Burma
military came and burnt our village. There was no village. The village
was destroyed. Some wanted to return to their village, but they did not
dare to live [there]. As for some people, they were afraid to come back.
There were land mines.
We heard from another village about an
hour [away], when they were playing football, they [the Burmese
military] came and shot at them. At that time some people died. Not many
people injured, but dead. Around that time I was growing rice. While we
were growing rice, the Burmese soldiers came and shot at us. But, no
one was shot, and we escaped. [We] had to leave the things and run.
Sometimes, there were deaths.
When we came back [from grandma’s house]
in the summer holidays we had to run. Burma soldiers came, and the
Burma military attacked. We had to run. Sometimes when we ran, our
father was not with us. Our father had gone to work. That’s why as we
[were] left in the house, we did not know what to do. Mother also,
sometimes [was] not with us. At that time, I’d also grown up a little
bit; therefore when I came back I had to look after the children. Then
my parents left me. Even I did not dare to live alone, I had to.
Sometimes when I heard the gun sound I did not [know] what to do. I had
that kind of dangerous times.
As a girl, I did not dare to live alone,
[I was] too afraid, I had to be afraid of everyone. When father came
back we had to pack our things and run. I did not know where to run,
there was nowhere to run.
We knew only that the Burmese military were coming
Naw Mu Gay and her family spent two
or three years running from the Burmese army, hiding in the jungle, too
afraid to even cook at times.
The Burma military came and attacked. We
didn’t know exactly who attacked. We knew only that the Burmese
military were coming. We just knew that.
We had to cover the old and broken tent
and live there. Sometimes, we did not dare to cook. When we [would] cook
the smoke [would] come out. Even at nighttime, we were afraid the light
would come out. There were times we had to cover the whole place with
blankets and [then] cook.
Naw Mu Gay says it has been about
five years since her family has had to run away from the village. A
preliminary ceasefire was signed between the Karen National Union (KNU)
and the Burma Government in January 2012. This year, finally given the
opportunity, at the age of twenty-two Naw Mu Gay decided to join the
army.
Since I was a child my parents suffered the military fights
Everyone joined the army. But as for me,
I joined the army because I wanted to. Since I was a child I wanted to
join. I hate [the Burmese army]. Since I was a child my parents suffered
the military fights. I hate [it]. Therefore, I wanted to join the army.
I had to help my parents. Just this year, I joined the army.
When I lived in the house [in the hill],
I knew nothing. It was strange, the outside world. When I joined the
army, there were boy soldiers there also. They help [with] what I cannot
do. As for the girls, they teach each other what others don’t know. I
teach them what they don’t know.
[My] friends don’t know [that I am a
soldier], but parents allowed me. It’s working for the country,
therefore they support me. But they always remind me to take care. As a
girl, there are many dangers.
[But] because of the leaders’
encouragements and inspirations, I really feel stronger. Even I am
nothing, I am happy to be involved as a piece of sand and a piece of
break (Burmese expression) for our people.
There may also be many difficulties. We
have to overcome any difficulties. But, you will always have friends
wherever you are. If you are good, your friends will also be good. I
also just have a lot of friends when I arrived here. We have to overcome
what we have to.
There are no parents [here], only friends look after each other
Naw Mu Gay had
been through so much trauma that her first experiences as a soldier
weren’t initially about overcoming the fear of being a soldier, but the
fear of being around other people her age.
As I live together with many
people I started to speak, before I did not speak a lot. There were
times I didn’t dare to eat. But, if I don’t eat, I am hungry. So, I ate
even with many people.
I became to speak only when I
arrived here. There are many girl soldiers. Therefore, I also feel
stronger. When I was in the village, I didn’t have friends. I lived
alone. When I [first] arrived here, friends […] they encouraged me. If
I’m sick at home, my parents look after me. But, there are no parents
[here], only friends look after each other.
Naw Mu Gay says she will continue to
be a soldier. Although she is afraid she sees her role as a soldier a
duty to her country, and she has no regrets.
As I joined this work, I have to keep my mind strong. I am afraid, but since I joined, I have to put that fear behind [me].
I don’t have regrets. I am happy. […]
There will be difficulties. I will try the best. There are also many
girl soldiers. We are like brothers and sisters.